Cow Time Thoughts: Growing Facial Hair (as opposed to cutting and pasting)

This website is loaded with instructions on growing facial hair and the different styles that are out there, including:
As opposed to the UNfriendly mutton chop:

While we're on the subject of cow time, I'm wondering if anyone out there can tell me whence this phrase originates. I've been using it ever since I was a boy scout at age 11. My brother-in-law, who is from Utah, has been using it since '95 even though our paths didn't cross until '99 or so. Meanwhile, J. Bod claims to have invented the phrase as a young man. What is the true origin of the phrase "cow time"? I am determined to find out.

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On a More Serious Note...

I'm in a more pensive mood this evening than usual. I had an itch to blog something, but right now I can't come up with any sort of attempt at being witty because I'm too contemplative, partially due to some current events in my life (every part of my existence is at a crossroads, it seems), and partially due to my re-discovery of a good friend's blog.

So, if you are in the mood for a religion paper I wrote over a year ago (in Ray Lynn's OT class - one of the most insightful courses I took at BYU), extend this very-extendable entry. It's not amazing writing by any means, but it has some thoughts of mine that I'm so glad I got down on "paper" - because it is helping me look at my life again in a different way.

Oh, and there are typos. Sorry.

"What important doctrines, teachings, or concepts can we learn from the bad people of Genesis or Exodus?"



When we read about the wickedness of the many evil men in the scriptures, we tend to abhor their actions and take relief when we read that justice is served and their inevitable comeuppance has arrived. However, in our search for swift justice upon the wicked we sometimes forget a very important attribute that also belongs to the Lord: that of endless mercy. While the principle is true that mercy cannot rob justice, the Old Testament makes it clear that the Lord shows mercy even when it is completely undeserved, and even some of the most wicked people are recipients of this display of God’s love.
The first example of this that we can chronologically find in the canonical scriptures is in the fifth chapter of Moses, in which Cain offers an unworthy sacrifice to the Lord in the form of vegetation, and when he is wroth for the rejection, the Lord teaches him:

If thou doest well, thou shalt be accepted. And if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door, and Satan desireth to have thee; and except thou shalt hearken unto my commandments, I will deliver thee up, and it shall be unto thee according to his desire. (Moses 5:23)

This is an act of mercy in that, rather than letting Cain fend for himself and learn the hard way without any other options, he is given a second chance and God makes sure that the understands what his options are. He is promised blessings for obedience and curses for sin, an act of God that shows his desire for Cain to do what’s right and someday return to Him.
However, in the fourth chapter of Genesis Cain ignores the Lord’s words and slays his brother Abel in an act of jealousy, selfishness, and secrecy. When Cain is confronted by the Lord for this grievous sin, he is told that “thou art cursed from the earth, which hath opened her mouth to receive thy brother’s blood from thy hand … a fugitive and a vagabond shalt thou be in the earth.” (Genesis 4:11-12)
Cain immediately becomes rather worried about this curse from God, and expresses his concern to the Lord:

Behold, thou hast driven me out this day from the face of the earth; and from they face shall I be hid; and I shall be a fugitive and a vagabond in the earth; and it shall come to pass, that every one that findeth me shall slay me. (Genesis 4: 14)

His fear of being killed is understandable. He’s committed a great crime that will surely become widely known due to its nature and the fact that it’s the first time that cold-blooded murder has been introduced to the world. We may even think he deserves whatever may come to him, even if one who was to find him and remember his evil act kills him.
However, the Lord in his infinite mercy adds a second part to the curse:

Therefore whosoever slayeth Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold. And the Lord set a mark upon Cain, lest any finding him should kill him. (Genesis 4:15)

Cain is promised that mankind will be instructed to not deal out their angers upon Cain by murdering him. To ensure this protection, a mark is placed upon Cain as a warning label to all those who see him that he is not to be dealt with in such a manner.
It’s interesting that, even though Cain has just committed a terrible sin, his pleas are still heard and answered according to the Lord’s will. Justice would demand that Cain be killed in like manner, but the Lord hears Cain’s concerns and responds. Although this may have been a form of punishment in that Cain could not end his temporal torments by being murdered, it is nonetheless clear that this was in response to Cain’s desire to not be slain, and that the Lord granted his wish in an effort to teach him.
It is awe-inspiring to consider the fact that the Lord has shown so much love and mercy to a man so wicked and ignorant of what’s right. In comparing Cain’s situation to our own (which is hopefully less extreme), we should be able to see a little more clearly what mercies Heavenly Father has shown us when we are undeserving and understand His plan for us a little better. Justice cannot be denied, but the Lord still loves His children.

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Now You See It #1

I got a digital camera as a graduation gift and I want to make use of it for the blog. I have a couple rough ideas, one of them being that I just post an image and let the comments fly and turn into a discussion about what meaning can be evoked, or simply an opportunity to have a laugh. So... here is the first installment of what I just randomly decided to call "Now You See It." Let the comments begin!

(P.S. I probably won't comment until other comments are made first. For photos that I have something specific to say, I'll usually use them in a different format than this.)

(P.P.S. CLICK ON THE IMAGE TO MAKE IT LARGER before making any comments.)

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Spotlights Will Agree I Am the Show You've Got to See

Since my mission I've discovered the joy of going to concerts at smaller venues where lesser-known bands circulate and seek exposure through younger audiences. There's a good feeling inside that comes when you really enjoy a song or band that isn't mainstream. It's like you realize that you aren't selling out to what everyone else likes -- you are enjoying something original.

The first band that was like this for me was my old roommates' ska band Button Hooked, which is unfortunately disbanded now. I have a couple videos of their stuff on my website, thesharkbyte.com. Their music was not only fun, but it was purely based on life experiences they'd had. The attraction in some of their songs was in knowing the people and back story to them ("Danny is the One for the Having of the Selling Out," for example, is about our other old roommate Danny who wouldn't join their band), while in others it was the ability to relate to their realistic lyrics ("9 Years," a song about a guy who puts his heart on the line with a girl after being her friend for 9 years and, after being rejected, admits that he can never be just friends again). There were also slams made against other bands, like the Provo-local Matt Lewis Band (I think they suck).

The next band I discovered was thanks to the same roommates, another ska group from Southern California called Suburban Legends. Their membership has changed a bit over the last couple years, and their sound has turned more disco, but their concerts are still a riot and they tour quite a bit. They're also refreshingly clean, which is difficult to find in this genre sometimes, especially because ska really is all but dead. The most delightful part of their shows is the amazing choreography they use in their songs! In fact, when they are auditioning new band members, one of the requirements is that they are good dancers. They recently released a new album, and you can hear some of it on the page I linked to above. At the time of this writing I haven't actually listened to most of those samples, so I really can't say if it's any good. In any case, SL is a good fix for some fun rock with that horn influence.

It was at the last SL concert I went to in July that I discovered this other band from New Jersey, Jet Lag Gemini. I don't LOVE their stuff, but they have a couple songs that are a lot of fun. The first two sample songs you hear when going to their website are probably my favorites. "Run This City" is just an all-around great song and a lot of fun to drive to. At the show I picked up a free sample CD of their stuff which had that song included, and I've played it at least 50 times already in my car stereo. When I saw these guys in concert I had actually looked 'em up beforehand, so I expected to be entertained. I felt bad, however, that they didn't quite live up to my expectations. A lot of their music sounded the same and needed some refinement. Plus, only two of their members were really into the music (actually, the bass player was amazing to watch, not only for his playing skills but because he just went nuts on stage -- quite the performer). In their defense, the audience was lame (nobody was dancing or hardly even bobbing their heads up and down), and I felt bad for them as they had expressed that this was their first visit to Utah ever. I think we made a bad impression and I wouldn't be surprised if they never come back. But then again, that's what you get for catering to an audience loaded mostly with high schoolers.

On the other hand, there was another band that played awful music but really knew how to get the audience pumped. Throwing stuff at them, inviting them on stage, ordering them to run around and scream... It was chaos at times, but by golly they got a good response. It probably helped that they had a large man with a mohawk who commanded the microphone between songs. One of the more impressive moments was when the lead singer stepped out on top of the audience while they supported his feet with their hands. It must have taken amazing strength and coordination to keep himself upright, and he kept singing the entire time! Fantastic.

I guess, to me, rock music and concerts are the best when I can tell that the musicians are having the time of their lives on stage without resorting to f-bombs every other word. Suburban Legends and Button Hooked pull that off so well. A lot of the bands at the last SL tour were so mellow on stage that I felt like they hated being there, which may well have been the look they were going for, which to me leans more toward emo and less toward hard core rock. If you want to get your audience into your songs, you've got to get them energized. Barely moving while staring downward expresionlessly is poor showmanship in my book.


So yes, the obscure music world is a lot of fun, and I look forward to getting to know other bands out there with a lot of talent but, for whatever reason, not a lot of exposure.

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Cow Time Thoughts: Almost there...

It's almost 2:15 AM. Today (or, rather, yesterday) was my last day of classes EVER. I lucked out because my Bio 100 final got cancelled, so unless I totally bombed on the last midterm (which I don't think I did) I should have an A in that class, especially after having done 100 points' worth of extra credit!

My Border Spanish final is a take home exam. I'm almost 2/3 through it and should finish it when I wake up, assuming I ever fall asleep. That means that my only real final that I have to study for is Humanities 202, which I'm not too stressed about since I should have plenty of time tomorrow evening and all day Wednesday to study (it's not scheduled until Wednesday evening). After that, it's graduation time!

But why am I up so stinking late? Well, usually it would be because I've been goofing off or editing something. But tonight I've actually been trying to sleep for almost two hours. The neighbors have been keeping me awake. I actually called 9-1-1 a while ago because they were blasting some music really loudly (loud enough that it went through their walls, across two driveways, and through MY wall), but just as I got to the point where an officer was being dispatched they turned it off, so I told the dispatcher to forget it, and she gave me a non-emergency number to call next time...

[tangent]Which reminded me of an experience on my mission in Dallas that is the cause behind my calling 9-1-1 for non-emergency reasons. (There's actually an expanded post on this one!)It was my first area, and our next door neighbors were also our landlords. They had a bunch of kids and most of the family had gone on vacation, excepting the oldest at-home son, who had just graduated from high school. He was somewhat of a troublemaker -- nothing too horrible, but his parents were concerned about him. When they'd told us they were going out of town, one of the English elders jokingly asked the father if we could call the cops if he threw a party since he wasn't allowed to have more than one or two friends over. The father (who always looked like a caricatured version of most men to me) looked at him with a straight face and stated solemnly, "Yes. Yes, you can."

Sure enough, as soon as the family was out of town, that very first night, we were just getting to bed and looked out our windows to see our neighbors' backyard. What we beheld was more than mere apricot trees, unfortunately. There were kids drinking beer and smoking what appeared to be cigarettes. Probably around twenty, including the ones we could see inside the house through the kitchen windows. I was shocked that this kid not only would have the nerve to be so quick to disobey his parents, but that he would introduce drugs and alcohol to the temple his parents had worked so hard to keep pure from those influences.

I picked up the phone and looked through the phone book to find the local police station. I called them and told them that there were underage kids getting drunk next door. I figured this wasn't anything that required flashing lights and a siren, so I was quite surprised when the lady on the other end told me to hang up and dial 9-1-1 to have an officer dispatched. I did so and soon enough found myself talking to a policeman in his squad car just as he was pulling up to the house. I could see him through the window and said, "Yeah, you just passed it." I won't lie -- I was actually kind of excited to see this kid get busted.

Right when the cop gets to parking, we suddenly see kids frantically running EVERYwhere throughout the house! Some are dumping alcohol down the drain, others are stashing beer bottles under the sink, while five or six more are taking turns running into the bathroom, which tells me they were flushing something they didn't want to get caught with. Meanwhile, the son of our landlords would periodically cup his hands over his eyes and lean up against the kitchen window to see if he could tell that we were the cause of all of this. No dice, though -- we had the lights off and were watching between the slits of closed blinds. Even if he knew it had to be us, there was know way to verify it and be legitimately angry. We were laughing, though.

The cop simply broke up the party. He didn't even go inside, luckily for them. After everyone had left, the son came out onto the back porch and stood there, hands on his hips, staring up right at the window we were looking at him from. It was obvious he didn't know we were actually there, but he was hoping he was showing us that he wasn't happy.

The next day we were going out to an appointment and we happened to bump into him on our way out. He was much friendlier to us than usual, which was oddly funny. He offered us a ride to wherever we were going and after we refused he told us that if we needed anything to give him a call. "He doesn't want us to call his parents," I thought to myself.

When we came back for lunch I called his parents. And probably with the wrong intentions, though the kid had it coming either way. I just wanted to see him wriggle. His parents weren't happy, but they did okay. The kid ended up serving a mission and I have even run into him on campus before, though he doesn't remember who I am. He's a good guy, though. He was just a stupid teenager sometimes.

And that's why I call 9-1-1 when I need a cop, even if it's not an emergency. [/tangent]

But the girls next door started screaming ten minutes later in sporadic bursts. How can people stand being so loud that their neighbors can hear them through all that space and barrier between them? I don't know. I thought about calling the cops back but then decided not to since the girls are new to the area and aren't really LDS. I don't want them to feel alienated by their neighbors. Am I being a pushover? Probably. Meh.

Meanwhile, the job search continues...

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YouTubin': A Lesson in Ethics

I think YouTube is an interesting phenomenon. It creates a power of visual storytelling that almost anyone can access. The interactivity is a psychological breakthrough in that connections made through various videos provide the viewer interesting ways in which he can synthesize loads of new information handed to him in any myriad of combinations.

However, I wonder how the readers of my blog feel about YouTube, specifically its role as a foundation for a new sort of online community where people post video journals with their lives for all to see (although everyone is an actor since they are aware of the camera). I have always been against it for several reasons, perhaps the most prominent being the personal information that is so frequently and blindly given out through them. The internet is a twisted place, and YouTube is bound to be prime stalking grounds for predators.

And then there are people like this guy below, who seems to be addicted to YouTube to the point where it affects his behavior. In his defense, I think he is autistic or there is something else going on that isn't 100% apparent just by hearing what he has to say. In any case, he says some goofy things that would be easy to scoff at, but in the end I actually felt somewhat depressed by his post:

Is the empowerment of the individual on YouTube worth these sorts of videos, where a young man unwittingly exposes himself to the ridicule of those who misunderstand what's probably really going on? I skimmed through some of the comments and I just felt bad for the kid. Yes, some of the things he says are goofy, but the way he reacts to life experiences makes me feel like he needs better understanding from the audience, something that he doesn't seem to be aware of enough to address.

Anyways, just a thought on the ethics of exposing your personal life on the world wide web.

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My Beef (and Yours) with "The Simpsons"

"The Simpsons" was once a great show. It started off kind of rough, with an emphasis on Bart and only a handful of truly memorable episodes in the first two seasons. However, during season three the show really started taking off, focusing more on Homer as the central figure of the family

From then on out the show enjoyed a lengthy run where almost every episode was an instant classic. Even episodes that revolved around Lisa, the most boring member of the family, brought loads of laughter ("Lisa the Vegetarian," "Summer of 4 Ft. 2," and "Lisa the Iconoclast" immediately come to mind). In my opinion, seasons 3 through 8 were the good seasons, the hilarity tapering off somewhere in season 9. Some would even argue that the show completely jumped the shark when Maude Flanders got killed off in season 11, though that season still had a couple gems left up its sleeve, including the tomacco episode (funniest part of that clip begins around 06:48).

An excellent analysis of the decline of "The Simpsons" can be found here. I would add to the article that the show got much raunchier during its decline as well, one of the reasons I stopped watching.

Which brings me to the heart of my rant.

"The Simpsons" was very controversial when it first came out, because it was a type of humor that hadn't been done before. A country that waited with bated breath for TGIF on ABC every week mistakenly defined an animated show as entertainment for children, whereas "Simpsons" is geared towards a much older audience, with its witty humor and satire. Yes, Bart is a punk kid, but parents became so worried about him being a role model for their children that they labeled him as evil. Exaggerations were made on the show's reliance on flatulent humor, when in reality the show mocks alcoholism through characters like Barney Gumble, whose disgusting nature is a caricature of reality, a commentary on the disease of wine-bibbing.

I admit that even my parents banned us from the show for its first few years. It wasn't until we boys began watching it behind their backs that we became hooked, and eventually convinced them that the show really wasn't all that bad (though my mom still holds a grudge against it, understandably).

Perhaps what really chaps my hide in this subject is the fact that over a year ago I almost dated a girl whose major hangup with me was that I watch "The Simpsons." She had never seen a single episode and frowned upon me for enjoying it because she believed, based on what her parents had told her, that it was crass and inappropriate. No matter how many times I explained to her that the seasons I enjoy are actually very clean (even the episode in which Homer almost is tempted to have an affair with a coworker is handled tastefully), admitting that later seasons had gone down the tubes as far as morality goes, she couldn't get past the labels she'd been raised with. Perhaps what hurt the most is that her trust in an ignorant opinion of a TV show overshadowed her trust in my moral judgment.

I'm not saying that everyone should watch "The Simpsons." I'm not saying that I would let my little children watch it, either, as I feel like an understanding of satire and sarcasm is needed to comprehend certain notions (e.g. Bart's actions are not to be laughed at because we want to emulate them, rather they are to be laughed at because we are to understand the need to steer clear of them). What I AM saying, though, is that those of us who are still on a soap box preaching against this show (at least in any context that involves the first ten years of its airing) need to seriously reevaluate the entertainment they criticize when content found in shows like "Friends," "Scrubs," "Sex in the City," and even certain shows on Adult Swim is flooding our TV's, TiVos, and DVD collections with humor that distastefully mocks sacred topics and exploits sex for a cheap laugh.

Finally, if there's one more argument to be had for why this show deserves a look on a moral level, "The Simpsons" at least instills a moral system in its characters. Whatever you have heard or choose to believe, the Simpson family sticks together during their crises. Sure, Bart makes a selfish choice or Homer does something incredibly dumb to spark their troubles, but in the end the family loves each other and helps each other to overcome. Most episodes end with something morally valuable having been learned by the characters. Less can be said of many other popular television shows out there.

So next time I quote "The Simpsons" and you are tempted to look down on me, please take a second and decide if the cultural hobbyhorse of Simpsons nay-saying is really worth the saddle sores.

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