In this installment we discover the one thing that can actually hold up to the infinitely-large beasts known as my calves.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
I just barely woke up from a dream in which part of the upcoming LDS General Conference was shot in the corner of my bedroom. There was a simple pulpit set up right next to my armoire and my bookcase full of my movie collection (about 233 movies at the time of this posting), and a rather large camera about fifteen feet away from all of this.
As the conference began, President Thomas S. Monson, who recently succeeded Gordon B. Hinckley as Prophet and leader of the Church on the earth, stepped into my room and approached the pulpit. He then proceeded to give a very President Monson talk, most of the words of which I can't remember, though his mannerisms were certainly consistent with those of the real-life man: calm, soothing, and perhaps a little unnatural -- but nonetheless loving and sincere, with a hint of musicality in his tone and inflection.
Halfway through his talk, President Monson delivered one of his most famous quotes: "If we don't try, we don't do. And if we don't do, then why are we here?" After stating this, he paused, smirked, and turned around to face my movie collection. After searching for something he clearly had noticed before beginning his talk, he pulled out my DVD of "Shenandoah" and flashed it at the camera with a large grin on his face, the look in his eyes broadcasting how well-pleased he is that the member of the Church whose room he's using shares an appreciation for the story he so often references.
The funny thing is that he then turned back around and continued to explore the DVD titles I had, for the sake of his own curiosity as well as in the interest of sharing it with the rest of the millions of the worldwide congregation. He pulled out my box set of "Star Wars" films and, making sure the camera got a good look at it, made an approving comment that had a hint of reminiscing to it, as if the series was an old favorite of his.
After another brief glance, he made a grab at my copy of "X-Men 1.5," which carried a subtitle in my dream that he read aloud in a very "what the..." tone: "'God is Back'?" My only possible response was to just shrug my shoulders at him from off camera and hope he didn't think I was a sacrilege for apparently owning a superhero movie with overt religious subtexts.
The dream concluded with President Monson trying to figure out the organization of my DVD collection and how to replace the ones he'd pulled out, and me whispering to him to just set them on the shelf and I'd take care of them later.
-General Conference is happening again in a little over a week, and it's not uncommon for me to have dreams about it whenever it draws near or has recently passed. One past dream involved JKC and I taking seat on the stand, with he and President Faust playing practical jokes on me in front of countless attendees.
-President Monson has been the subject of many church headlines as of late, as he really did recently replace Gordon B. Hinckley as the President of the Church. Good for my dreams for being consistent with current events.
-President Monson is known for quoting poetry, C.S. Lewis and Dickens (and other classic literature), hymns, and theatrical works -- including the above quote from "Shenandoah."
-My DVD collection has been on my mind as of late because I've been planning a trip to Philly to see Amanda, whose parents were so kind as to accept a shipment of my DVD cases in helping me move out to the East Coast. I've also been loading movies onto my iPod lately.
-"X-Men 1.5" is a specific DVD release of the original "X-Men" film, loaded with more special features than the first release. It doesn't have a subtitle -- I'm not sure what "God is Back" is even supposed to mean, but it sounds like it might have made for an interesting storyline. Maybe Wolverine goes Pentecostal?
-President Monson would approve of my diverse collection of movies. (I hope!)
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
I know this is going to go over the heads of so many people. I understand this. And I admit that the editing here is somewhat shoddy -- the compressions of these videos were hard to work with. Nevertheless, this was a project that demanded to be done. Ladies and gents, the end to my creation:
*In realizing that this video is going to cater to a very small crowd, I promise to have another, more universal video up soon. But remember, this blog is for me, so this post is successful in that it drove me to do something I enjoyed putting together.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
I find myself on an airplane -- a rather LARGE airplane -- headed west from DC. As I wander around the cabin, I soon end up running into my friend Club Narwhal, who tells me that she's on her way to Hawaii for a business trip that will last a couple weeks. She seems pretty excited about this trip, and she asks me what my plans entail on this flight. I respond that I am on my way back to Seattle, where I grew up, to propose to this girl (who shall be referred to as "Number One" from now on since the only people who know who that refers to have never met her) who I've been in love with for an eternity.
In actuality, I had a mad crush on Number One for quite some time. She moved into my area when I was 11 or so (maybe even younger), and I liked her up until I was 24-ish, when I finally went on a single date with her and realized it was never meant to be (she didn't understand what I meant by the term "poo with three o's" -- I mean, come on, what's there to misunderstand?). It's really too bad, because I had this whole grand master plan of how I was going to woo her. When I was 15 or so I bought her a teddy bear for Christmas and left it on her doorstep on Christmas Eve with an anonymous, "secret admirer"-type note. I never told anyone outside of my family about this. I was going to wait until a moment where I needed an ace up my sleeve to swing a potential relationship with Number One my way. I was going to hand her another teddy bear and say, "Actually, this isn't the first teddy bear I've ever gotten you." Sappy? Incredibly. But if there would have been any chance of her liking me, she would have been putty in my hands. Alas, that card was never played.
Back in the dream, the plane lands in Hawaii and I realize that I've terribly overshot my destination. Not wanting to have to wait for another flight, I take some initiative and jump into the ocean, swimming as fast as I can toward the continental US. On my journey I discover that the ocean isn't just filled with water -- there are towns and cities inhabited by actual people, and even though it looks like a grouping of houses on dry land, I'm swimming through the entire thing.
Eventually I make it to the Seattle area, but it's late at night. I go to my friend Pedro's house and crash. He asks what I'm doing there, and I tell him my intentions, to which he begins to argue that it's too late to try winning Number One over and that all I'm going to do is cause an embarrassing situation for both of us. This discussion becomes very emotional as I begin to choke up and swear to him that I have to at least TRY to express my feelings to her, that I've lived my life too long in emptiness to give up now.
The dream ends there.
-I'm not sure why I'm dreaming of Number One since I haven't been thinking about her at all lately. Maybe it's because she's a very beautiful girl, and certain people I know have recently been dealing with the comings-on of very beautiful women. But I feel like that's an improbable connection.
-Club Narwhal is super-cool and has been giving me advice on decorating my bedroom. I also had dinner with her and her roommates on Sunday, so I think my recent social experience with her explains her part in my little adventure.
-Hawaii was featured on the last episode of "Eli Stone," which I caught last night with my sister.
-I'm baffled by my discovery of civilization in the middle of the ocean, as well as my ability to swim through seemingly-solid objects. But I am the Shark, so, yeah.
-Pedro is one of my best friends, and a mutual friend of Number One's, and the last few interactions I've had with her have also involved him, so it makes sense that he'd be involved in this whole exchange.
Maybe I subconsciously wish something would have happened there. But honestly, on a conscious level, I have no regrets and still don't think we'd be compatible. Perhaps this is more part of a desire for me to be in a relationship again, where I can have someone to express my feelings to and have the companionship I sought in the dream? And maybe Club Narwhal should go to Hawaii. And maybe I should become a stronger swimmer so as to not be hindered by underwater obstacles, such as houses.