Dreams: Why Do All My Women Just Turn Out That Way?

I just woke up with an upset stomach and e-mailed work to tell them I'll be late, and decided to use the time to get this crazy-vivid dream down on e-paper before I forget it.

My brother Cabeza and I are hanging out in a rundown grocery store, you know the kind: yellow, dingy floors that haven't been swept in weeks, a smelly produce section, and frozen foods that all suffer from freezer burn, as well as a poorly-lit checkout area. After debating about a flavor of ice cream to get, I decide to get dropped off at my friend Adonis' house, who is still living with his parents, apparently. Adonis is of Filipino descent in actuality, so the rest of his family follows suit in my dream. His younger sister (who doesn't exist in real life) is also present, and I arrive in time for her father to call us all together to pronounce a blessing on her. It's around this time that I realize that Adonis' sister and I are actually in the early stages of a serious relationship, and that her name is Legend.

The blessing is done with me, Legend, Adonis, and their father lying on our stomachs in a circle on the carpet, facing inwards. The father pulls out some small, white and yellow flowers and hands them to each of his children, but before he gets to me I lay my head down and start to fall asleep, so he gently places the flower on my head. As I doze, I hear him tell Legend that she and I will one day be married, and she seems okay with the idea. When the blessing is finished, we retire to the living room. Legend sits on the couch, and I attempt to sit on a stool that is set on one of the couch cushions next to her. Upon finding this awkward and uneasy, I remove the stool and sit directly next to Legend so as to facilitate cuddling. She's a really cute girl, by the way. Even as a conscious sentience now I look at my memory of the dream and realize that I would totally be attracted to this Asian girl if she really existed. Aside from her physical beauty, she puts up with my silliness and can never get enough of me.

The dream gets a little more interesting from here on out. Sometime after this visit to Legend's family, I end up joining with Cabeza and Warren (Legend tags along, too) for a time-traveling adventure. Apparently Cabeza, Warren and I do this sort of thing all the time, for it seems second nature to us when we suddenly pop up in the middle of a dirt road in an old, western town of ... the early 1970s?? Although the people around us are dressed like they are from the '80s, I know we have traveled almost 40 years in the past. I'm not sure exactly what our purpose was in being there, but we start walking directly towards a small airport to catch a flight to Europe. Warren and Cabeza pick up their pace and want to catch the plane that is going to leave at any moment, but Legend and I are lolly-gagging behind, too focused on our efforts to decide which way is best to hold hands (with my arm in front or hers?). We also stop every once in a while to hug and chat, and somewhere in there she tells me that she wants to marry me. At this point in the dream, for the first time, I realize how young Legend is: she's barely a senior in high school (sick). I think to myself that she's moving pretty quickly and is probably a little too young still to understand the implications of such a statement, but I don't want to ruin the moment for her so I make a mental note to talk to her about this later.

Unfortunately, once we DO get to the airport, the plane has just taken off. Apparently this is an airport that is always in high demand and is constantly rushing flights, so they waste no time on the ground -- not even waiting to have the engine routinely checked before takeoff! Warren and Cabeza made it on time, but we are left behind due to our inability to stop being lovey-dovey for two whole minutes. We decide that we should at least get in line for the next flight, so we walk through airport security, which is held inside a small shack that leads to a door that will take us to the humble, single-plane runway when it's time to go. We sit on the floor and wait. I pull out my cell phone to check the time, but I am not getting a signal (since it's the 1970s), and it dawns on me that I have no way of communicating with Cabeza to coordinate where to meet back up so we can make it back to the present.

Slightly panicked, I look at the flight schedule on the wall and note that the last one had left at 4:45, the next one is scheduled for 5:25. Suddenly a loud ringing emanates from Legend's purse, and the large crowd that has gathered behind us (also in line for the flight) becomes somewhat shocked as they look around for what the sound could be, as there are obviously no telephones mounted anywhere nearby on a wall. Legend blushes and discreetly shuts of her phone (it must have been an alarm going off since we have no cell signal). It's then that I decide to go outside for a minute and get some fresh air. Legend agrees to stay behind and save our place in line.

As I step out to the exterior of the little building, I find myself being confronted by Rich, a guy in my real-life ward at church, who has no business, really, in being in an unusual decade. But, as he is a friend, we begin to chat, and find ourselves walking further and further from the airport. We get about half a mile away when we stop in the middle of an unkempt, paved road next to a rotting billboard and abandoned, rusty cars sitting in tall, wild grass. The sun is setting behind the airport and we talk about a lot of things, one of which being my relationship with Legend and how I know that she and I are going to be married, but that I need to get her to calm down about the whole idea because she's too young -- it will be a while before either or both of us will be ready for that step. Rich listens intently and returns with some excellent advice, which I don't remember any of, but is cut off by the ringing of his cell phone. He answers and has a brief discussion with Cabeza, who has landed in Europe. I ask Rich how the heck his cell phone is working, and he says, in a matter-of-fact tone, "I have a signal." For no reason this makes me suspicious that Rich is some sort of guardian angel who can bend physical laws in his efforts to watch over me. This thought process is interrupted by the sound of roaring turbines and screeching wheels. The plane has arrived -- and I'm half a mile away!!

Stressing that being separated during a trip through time may have disastrous results, I begin running full speed back to the airport, perhaps at a pace that is slightly superhuman. Rich finds himself a moped and rides in front of me, but never offers me a ride. As we draw closer to the airport, I see the plane readying for takeoff. I realize that Legend is probably on the plane, saving me a seat, and my desperation drives me forward as I battle against time to keep us from being separated for what could be forever. I finally reach the airport and am approaching a turnstyle at the entrance when an amazingly-strong gust of wind blazes out from the airport and in my direction. People are literally swept off their feet, and a vortex swirls at me, blocking my path to my woman. I follow in my pursuit and soon find the air around me calming down. Approaching the small building where we had been waiting for the plane, I let myself in and look out the window to see the airport employees closing the plane's doors -- they're about to take off!!

I rush through the building, which has suddenly grown larger on the inside and become more of a labyrinth of hallways. The walls and carpeting remind me a lot of the standard interiors of LDS church buildings as I try, door after door, to reach the runway and somehow put a stop to the takeoff sequence. I eventually find an unlocked door to a room that looks like it may have its own private exit. As I enter I quickly notice a small sign labeling it as a Catholic chapel, and I see that they even have a small confessional and a place for their holy water, but it's of little import as I find yet another door that leads me into a much smaller room, and this smaller room has a small doorway to the runway, which I use.

I become aware that I've popped out to the runway, right behind one of the jet turbines. The airplane is relatively very small -- probably the size of a 727. The engines have already warmed up and the jet is ready to take off. The wheels are slowly turning as the pilot is getting ready to build the speed he needs to get off the ground. However, as soon as airport authorities notice a man standing directly in the path of the turbines' flaming wake, they contact the pilot and tell him to cancel takeoff. The plane, however, has been moving enough that it still moves forward, but because it is unable to lift off the ground it plops into a large pond at the end of the short runway.

I get back inside the building and wait for the emergency evacuation of the plane's occupants. The song "Stepping Stone" by Jet Lag Gemini begins playing in the background, like a movie soundtrack. After a few minutes of miffed passengers walking by, I finally spot Legend, who looks very concerned. I run out to greet her and her expression instantly changes. Her long, black hair flows behind her and her Asian eyes become extremely squinted by her huge smile as she races to me at full speed and we embrace. We kiss, of course, just as a police officer comes and asks us both to come with him. I tell him to hold up for a second while Legend and I continue to kiss, then we stop while someone begins chastising Legend for some unknown reason. I take the opportunity to whisper "I love you" in her ear. At this, Legend cuts off this other person, looks at me surprisingly/elatedly, returns the phrase and kisses me again. At this point, successful in my efforts to rescue ourselves from separation in a setting not of our own time, we allow ourselves to be escorted away by the police.

And then I wake up. But it's not just any normal awakening. There is this swelling in my chest as if I have really been feeling deep emotions of love and romance. I think of the mental image of this "Legend" girl I'd made up in my head, and regret that my relationship with her isn't real. I realize that my dream was really off-the-wall, but nonetheless it was tragic as reality sunk in and I found myself single again -- and not even a time traveler!! Where have you gone, Legend??!!!

Analysis:

• Well, I'm single, so that should hopefully explain my subconscious throwing these images of relationships out at me. I really don't think I need to go any deeper than that.
• I find it interesting that my dream follows a narrative form pretty well, including an inciting incident, climax, and denoument.
• I think the name "Legend" may be a result of all the marketing I've seen for the DVD release of "I Am Legend." It would be interesting if there was some other, more profound reason.
• As fond as I am of the Asian persuasion, I don't consider myself to be one of those guys who is obsessed with Asian women, so I find it somewhat random that Legend was Asian (and disturbing that she was still in high school, apparently -- though I swear she didn't look that young in the dream!).
• Okay, actually Legend was probably Asian because I interacted in a rather unusual way yesterday with a Korean woman who I thought was really cute. The "unusual interaction" will most likely be revealed in a near-future post.
• The time travel aspect may stem from the various discussions I've had with Cabeza lately about the show Lost.

Conclusion:
The only thing better is a redhead Jew.