We've all thought this before: "If someone were to make a movie about me, who would get the lead role?" I plan on one-upping that. I'm going to make a series of posts casting all the major characters in a movie about my life thus far (and perhaps in the future, as well).
The above image is displaying the celebrities that supposedly look the most like me. I actually found the link to this site from my friend Martha, who apparently looks like Amanda Bynes, according to a computer.
Best result: Charlton Heston! Who'd have thought? Can you imagine having him portray ME in a film? "Call me THE Shark, you damn, dirty ape!" In all honesty, though, I just don't see it. Heston was a great actor, but his build is too wiry and bony to portray me.
Granted, I think the photo I used is a little goofy. I might try re-computing with a different photo later. I believe the computer focused on finding celebrities with big noses and overbites.
What struck me as funny is that I only knew the two celebrities who were given the lowest percentage in my results! I haven't bothered looking up all of them, but what I will tell you is that my celebrity twin, Yossi Benayoun, is an Israeli soccer player for the Liverpool FC team. The fact that overseas athletes are granted celebrity status on this site drops its coolness factor (wouldn't most people rather be entertained by being compared to Judge Wapner or, heck, the Olsen Twins?), but it sufficed for giving me someone to cast in the lead role of "The Shark Movie":
Gary Busey. Well, he would be cast as FUTURE me, but I could totally see him pulling it off. Overbite? Check. Eccentric mentality? Double check ("Drinking your own blood is the paradigm of recycling." Honest, he really said that.). Plus, he's a proven actor. He's been a villain ("Lethal Weapon"), a nutty private investigator ("The Firm"), and, perhaps the role most telling of his abilities, he pulled off an excellent portrayal of Buddy Holly in the 1978 film, "The Buddy Holly Story".
I was about to delve into my personality qualities that I feel like Busey could capture really well, but I felt like I was typing some sort of profile for a matchmaking website. I'll just end this post by saying that I hope I grow up in a way that Busey could adequately portray me. This is my dream -- nay, my very purpose.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Casting a Shark Biographical Movie, Part I
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5 comments:
A frightening prospect, that very purpose of yours. He's probably a bit more of a nutbar than you ever really want to be.
Who will you cast next?
awesome. remember life with busey? when he chases his sidekick around holding a torch? terrifying... (and let's please never forget lethal weapon.
I'm just gonna say it: that picture of our friend Gary is creepy.
I think you should cast Warren next.
Shark:
Please cast some cute actress as me, your favorite family member.
Charlton Heston as you? Crazy! And I like that Busey guy in Lethal Weapon, but he's a maniacal villan! Is this what you are aspiring to? At least you could talk to Danny Glover and Mel Gibson, 2 of the world's greatest actors!!
Gary Busey? A great look alike, but too much of a nut job. Who would let him in and out of his cage between takes?
Now, who to cast as your handsome, macho, intelligent, nurturing father? The Governator, Arnold Schwartzenager..no the body is right, but the accent is over the top.
Tom Cruise? No, too short, and actually kind of whimpy (sorry girls).
Ok, I vote for Harrison Ford. Age is about right....good looks, check. 800 acre ranch in Wyoming complete with my own airport, airplanes and helicopters?..Well, I'm working on that part. But obviously good Harrison Ford type looks genes have been passed down to the Shark and future little sharkies.
Well, got to go.Time for my valium, and to be put back into my restraints. BYe, Dad
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